


Everything but This

by leviathanofthesky



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: (Previously) Established Relationship, Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Force-Sensitive Armitage Hux, M/M, Mind Manipulation, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker, Redemption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-12
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2021-02-22 03:48:15
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,270
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22675891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leviathanofthesky/pseuds/leviathanofthesky
Summary: “Your power is special, young Hux. You belong to the First Order, and you will lead us to victory. It is your destiny.”Hux struggles with his sense of self after Snoke’s untimely death, trying to distinguish his true desires from those of the First Order. He finds them again in the form of Ben, although he may be too late.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Armitage Hux/Kylo Ren
Comments: 14
Kudos: 71





	Everything but This

_“My dear Armitage…”_

General Hux nearly lost his footing, steadying himself against the wall when the air around him suddenly became still, the familiar hum of the engines muffled to a deafening ring. He felt as if someone had plunged him into a strange sense of disconnect, as if the space around him had suddenly become empty, the constant mechanical turning of the gears in his brain screeching to a sickening halt. He blinked several times in an attempt to ward away the sensation and forced himself back on course to the bridge, reasoning that the stims must be wearing off.

The doors slid open to reveal the engines of the Resistance flagship roaring to life in the distance beyond the viewport. To the side he saw small explosions as each beam of plasma from the _Supremacy_ made contact with the small transports that had escaped the flagship, _their screams echoing through the..._

His stomach did a flip as his mind swam again, nearly throwing him to his knees before he managed to steady his posture in response. 

This was no time to show weakness.

There was never a time to show weakness.

“Sir, the Resistance cruiser is preparing to jump to lightspeed,” one of the officers announced as Peavey turned to him for further orders. He regarded the captain quietly, being one of the few that remained who remembered what kind of man his father was.

Instinct told him that they might as well fire on the cruiser now that they were in range. It would be a nuisance to follow it through hyperspace again, especially now that they have both the transports and the cruiser to go after. He opened his mouth to issue the order when...

_All he saw was fire, Arkanis burning below him as their ship pulled further and further away. He could feel his mother somewhere in the distance, her essence growing dimmer even before the hyperdrive started to charge for the jump. The shuttle shook, its walls creaking, before a hand connected with his face, sending him flying into one of the boxes on the floor._

_“Dry your tears boy. Be thankful that you’re even here,” Brendol Hux spat._

_The walls were quiet._

Hux blinked, finding himself back on the bridge with the others looking to him for guidance. He swallowed hard.

“It’s empty. They’re just trying to pull our attention away,” he told them, deciding the first thing he would do after this mission was to procure another stim. “Pathetic. Keep your fire on the transports,” he added for good measure. He didn’t even know why he thought to waste their resources on the empty flagship to begin with.

Regardless, he watched as the Resistance cruiser began to turn towards them, his eyes widening as he realized what was to befall them.

“No!” Peavey gasped beside him.

“Fire on that cruiser!” he yelled out the order much too late.

Hux knew. He knew that he was too late.

This was his fault, his decision, his… 

There was a split second where the deafening silence engulfed him, threatening to eat him whole as a blinding light shone through the viewport, the impact throwing everyone around him to the ground.

Hux found himself still standing as the rest of his men slowly lifted themselves to their feet, swaying from the shock of the collision. It took another moment before sound poured back into his senses, enhanced by the deafening screams that seemed to pound at him from all sides.

“Activate the emergency shields and assess the damage!” he barked out to the dazed crew. Mitaka was the first to act, grabbing the nearest comm to relay the command. “Peavey, you’re in charge of the bridge. I will report to the Supreme Leader,” he announced before briskly walking off the bridge. He knew that he would be punished, likely even executed for this, but he clenched his teeth and moved on. He needed to act quickly if he was to keep his head. Perhaps he could somehow salvage his previous relationship with Ren before this entire fiasco with the search for Skywalker happened.

The screams continued.

His steps were shaky, almost uncoordinated, and yet Hux forced himself onward, attributing his lackluster balance to the likely damaged gravity generators. That was what it was, he attempted to convince himself. He will get them back on the _Finalizer_ soon enough, and everything would be as before. 

Orderly.

Structured.

_“Your power is special, young Hux. You belong to the First Order, and you will lead us to victory. It is your destiny.”_

The body of Snoke flopped to the floor with a deafening thud in the middle of the burning throne room. He grimaced to himself as he tried to suppress the panic that was starting to creep into him. 

When had Snoke said that to him?

He then turned to the motionless figure of Ren. If Snoke had wanted him to lead the First Order, then why did the former Supreme Leader bring this menace into his life? He reached into his coat methodically, the air around him surging as the sensation struck again.

_The man smiled, his warm brown eyes glistening in the starlight that shone from the viewport._

_“Armitage…”_

Hux paused for a split second and lost his chance as his co-commander woke up with a start.

.

Hux made a beeline for his familiar ice blue couch as soon as the door slid closed behind him, collapsing into the cushions as his side screamed in protest. He rolled over onto his back in the hopes of alleviating some of the pressure from the bruising, staring listlessly at the ceiling as each breath he took sent an additional wave of pain through his throat. He did not doubt that there was a considerable amount of damage to his body, but the real concern came from the constant humming through his head.

Everything still felt a little off despite being back on his beloved _Finalizer_ with its intact gravity generators. 

He blinked.

The ceiling looked solid enough to him. 

Perhaps it was withdrawal from the stims? He certainly didn’t need another one at this moment; he had already missed quite a few sleep cycles.

Was he going insane? He painfully recalled the final moments before the Resistance flagship had launched itself at them. He had never been one to follow emotion alone, but the _Supremacy_ would have still been in one piece if he had only followed his instinct and shot the _Raddus_ down first. 

That, and the constant pounding in his head, the echoes, were relentless.

He refused to believe the possibility of insanity and forced himself up, shrugging the greatcoat off on the couch as he made his way to the fresher. He slowly unbuttoned his jacket with trembling fingers as he walked through the familiar bedroom, the sheets untouched due to him spending quite a number of cycles on the _Supremacy._

Bloodshot eyes stared back at him along with a light outline of fingers along his pale neck, the true image of a madman. The jacket fell to the fresher floor, followed by his white regulation undershirt, small traces of the red salt from Crait bouncing off the tile.

Hux touched the marks on his neck lightly, the reality slowly settling in as his eyes trailed to the row of bruises on his side.

Ren had did this to him, just like Snoke, like his father.

Had he hoped that the other was different? He fought the urge to punch the mirror and instead stepped into the fresher, opting to indulge in a water shower instead of a sonic to wash the grime out of his hair. He still nearly screamed when the first drop hit his side and gritted his teeth through the pain, knowing that he had likely put off visiting the medbay far too long. 

Regardless, he decided to call a med droid instead after the shower.

.

Hux fought the desire for another pain stim as he continued to oversee the evacuation operation of the _Supremacy_. He had counted two broken ribs with extensive bruising to his side and neck, diagnosed with some help from the med droid and patched up with what little bacta he could procure. They were running short on supplies with all the injured that had to be treated, and the next shipment was still a few cycles away. They were already short on men, and Phasma was nowhere to be found in the wreckage. 

It hurt him deeply that so many had to lose their lives over such a disaster. They had sacrificed so much, and still they were chasing the shadow of the Resistance scum.

He had even fired _Starkiller_ , something he had never envisioned needing to do. He paused at that thought. Surely he did not consider the Hosnian System a sacrifice, it was necessary…

Necessary for the First Order… 

A headache cut him off.

_The planet below him burned, the little pockets of developed civilization on its surface melting into the flames as the explosion spread throughout the lands and oceans, shattering the breathable atmosphere. Death spared no one, and he could hear their endless cries echoing through his mind before they were suddenly smothered by another memory, suppressing the horror of what he had done into the recesses of his mind._

_“You belong to the First Order.”_

“Sir?” a voice snapped him out of his trance.

“What is it, Lieutenant Mitaka?” He composed himself quickly, thanking the stars that it was the young Lieutenant who had caught him drifting and not someone else.

“It is already two standard hours past the end of your scheduled shift,” the other nearly whispered. “I apologize for overstepping my bounds, but please rest. I can take over from here.”

During any other day, he would have scolded the other for such insubordination, but he merely nodded and strode off of the bridge. Mitaka had looked as tired as he had felt. None of them have gotten much sleep since Crait.

An hour later, Hux lay awake staring blankly at the grey durasteel ceiling, the pain having finally dulled to a soft ache after a much needed injection. He had not seen Ren since their return to the _Finalizer,_ had not talked to the new Supreme Leader about any of their salvation efforts of the _Supremacy._ He supposed that he should start making contingency plans for his own survival and continued ascension up the ranks of the First Order at this point in time. 

Ren would have made an excellent ally, but the deep ache in his chest told him that it was over, that he needed to move on to more lofty goals.

Yet, no plans came to him, no grand scheme of bringing order to an eternally disordered galaxy.

_“You belong to the First Order, and will lead us to victory. It is your destiny.”_

Was he always that driven? That ruthless? 

If it were any other day, he would have shot Ren without a moment’s hesitation. He knew that the man was dangerous to the First Order without Snoke to reel him in. 

He paused that thought, wondering when he had even started thinking that. True, Ren had his fair share of tantrums followed by heated arguments over the destruction of First Order property, but he remembered feeling hostile from the moment the knight had stepped onto the _Finalizer, e_ xcept for the scattered moments in the dark when all the hatred seemed to die down into a calm ocean.

_“Your mind is surprisingly quiet,” Ren commented as Hux lazily turned to face him, eyes misted with the afterglow of sex even as he attempted to glare the Force-user down. The other chuckled, brushing a strand of hair aside. “I didn’t mean it as an insult. It’s just that your thoughts are always very loud on the bridge. It’s like multiple people whispering all at once. I’m always surprised that you’re able to focus through all of that.”_

_“Multiple, huh…” Hux muttered to himself, finding the comment strange. However, he was far too tired to explore such Force nonsense further and allowed himself to drift off to some much needed sleep, comforted by the arm that had wrapped around him._

That Ren was gone, replaced by Snoke, by his father. 

Hux remembered hoping, hoping... he stopped himself. He blinked furiously, confused at why the ceiling was so blurry before realizing his eyes were wet.

“Kriffing Ren,” he hissed as he grabbed the sedative the droid had left “in case of an emergency” and pushed its entire contents into his thigh.

.

The realization came to him the moment the holo played before them, revealing Palpatine’s wrinkled form as the former emperor announced his return to the entire galaxy. Where the men around him felt fear at the image of the one they once thought dead, Hux felt an almost familiar blanket of haze over his mind that lasted until the recording shut off.

His feet took him from the command room even as Peavey called after him. 

_“You belong to the First Order.”_

It was Snoke’s voice.

He found himself back in his quarters, nearly hyperventilating as he gazed at his own crazed demeanor in the mirror.

“Who am I?” he asked his reflection, trying to suppress the panic that ate away at him. This must have been why Ren had chosen Pryde as his second in command. The other must have sensed the madness threatening to take over his mind now that Snoke was gone. He was nothing more than a puppet whose strings had been cut. 

Nothing. He was nothing.

Another memory suddenly came to him. He recognized it as a time when _Starkiller_ was nearing completion, before the entire fiasco with the scavenger. He had invited Ren over for a drink, the alcohol having allowed his mind to relax.

_Or, was it Ren? Hux found himself staring at the other, his mind seemingly clearer than ever, along with a strange uneasiness that had suddenly started to eat away at the edge of his thoughts._

_“What’s wrong?” the other had asked him. “Excited at the notion that you’ll soon have the capability to bring down an entire star system with the touch of a button?”_

_“Not excited…” he had murmured, confused at the emotions coursing through his mind. “Uneasy…”_

_It must have been the alcohol._

He slid to the ground, his knees going weak. 

“What do I do now?” he asked the air helplessly. What was it that he wanted?

Hux finally picked himself off of the refresher floor half an hour later and plopped himself onto the couch, knowing it was just a matter of time before Palpatine or Ren disposed of him. They had no need for him in their world. Hux blinked, suddenly confused.

Why would he think that he had no place in their world? Weren’t they working to create a new Empire to begin with? Why would…

Rae Sloane. When had he stopped thinking about her?

Hux picked up his datapad and began searching. He found his memories from the last decade still hazy, his past mere shadows except for Brendol. Even Snoke’s control over his mind couldn’t erase his father’s presence.

It took a few cycles and some assistance from Mitaka before he found what he was looking for. The lieutenant had the sense to leave him alone as he stared at the information.

Rae Sloane was dead. Snoke had ordered her assassination.

.

Leaking information to the Resistance proved easier than he had thought. He supposed having written most of the protocols for data transmission through the First Order himself might have had something to do with it, but regardless, Hux remained careful as he fed details of Palpatine’s return to the blasted Poe Dameron.

He didn’t know if Ren suspected him. The man could read minds with that Force ability of his for kriff’s sake. However, if the supreme leader knew, the other sure did a fairly good job of leaving his throat mostly intact. Ren had not touched him once since the fiasco on Crait, despite the occasional jab during their many meetings with High Command.

Ren surely suspected him, Hux thought, as he stared at the unfortunate Ovissian’s head on the table.

It wasn’t long after that they brought the Wookie on board that Hux felt a strange uneasiness once again. He buttoned his jacket over the armor, inspecting himself in the mirror for any traces of the vest under his clothes. He had been holding off wearing it in fear of someone questioning him for using the extra protection, but the unease had caused him to slip it on this particular cycle. He supposed it was good that he had lost some weight after Crait.

The plan ran smoothly enough save for the shot to the leg from the Resistance defector. The trip from the morgue to the designated TIE fighter proved much more difficult that he had anticipated, and if it weren’t for Mitaka’s quick thinking upon meeting him in the hallway, he would have never made it.

Hux made sure that he was safely out of range from the _Steadfast’s_ cannons before he turned on the tracking system to the chip he had hidden in Ren’s belt.

.

The rain pelted against his skin as he climbed out of the TIE fighter, his grip on his blaster tightening as he approached the solitary figure standing at the edge of the ruined _Death Star._ Hux raised the weapon, his bottom lip trembling as he aimed for the Supreme Leader’s head.

“If you came to kill Kylo Ren, he is already dead,” the other said as he approached, pausing his hand.

Even now the kriffing Force user spoke in riddles. Ren was standing right there before him, alive and breathing. Yet, the blaster still slipped from his grasp, dropping to the floor with a clack. The other must be lying. Even now, he could feel the clarity in his mind that had always confused him when he was near Ren.

It couldn’t be true.

The other finally turned to look at him. “Was it all a lie? An order from Snoke?”

His lips trembled. “Is that what you really think?” He realized he was crying. Ah, he thought. This was the truth all along.

Everything the past 10 years had been a fabrication from Snoke. Everything but this.

His reaction seemed to startle the other, and Ren instantly closed the distance between them, wrapping his muscular arms around him.

“I’m sorry for hurting you, Armitage.”

“You kriffing idiot…” he couldn’t bring himself to say anything else.

“Ben,” the other corrected him. “I’m just Ben now.”

They stayed like that for a while, the relentless rain washing over them as the waves surged over the ruins of the _Death Star._ He remembered pouring over its old design schematics during his work on _Starkiller_. All the advancements he had made were now fitted into an army of star destroyers with planet decimating abilities, something he could never forgive himself for.

This was not the Empire they had wanted.

“Ben…” The name felt foreign on his lips. “Did you know?”

“That you were the spy? That your mind was in disarray after Snoke’s influence was lifted from you?” The arms around him tightened. “I knew. I knew, but I was too blinded by the prospect of power to save you from your own madness.”

Hux chuckled weakly. “You knew enough to put Pryde in charge instead of me.”

The man looked at him with those familiar expressive eyes, gaze trailing to the bandages on his leg and chest. “He told me that you were dead.”

“And yet, here I am.”

A smile crept across Ben’s face. “I should’ve known. You're still the same as ever.”

Hux rolled his eyes, exasperated. 

They stayed in the rain for a while longer before Ben slowly pulled away. 

“There’s something I still need to do,” the other announced. Hux noticed that the disaster of a lightsaber was no longer clipped to the man's belt.

“You’ll die,” he pointed out.

Ben smiled at him, eyes forlorn. “It’s my destiny. I need to fix what I’ve done. I owe her a debt.”

Hux grimaced at the mention of the scavenger, the girl who had torn them apart. He knew that he was no match for her. She was a jedi, and he was just another cog in the wheel that had worn out its life. Yet, there was still something he could do, something only he could do. “Then I’m coming with you.”

“I’m not bringing you to fight the Knights of Ren.” 

Hux shook his head. “Of course not. Drop me off on the _Steadfast._ ”

.

Chaos greeted them upon their descent into Exegol, the skies littered with the massive hulls of the new star destroyers and the small Resistance fleet that fired upon the _Steadfast._ Their TIE fighter slipped through the battle with little trouble thanks to Ren’s piloting, dodging the occasional blast from one of the Resistance ships before landing in one of the unused hangers using the access codes Mitaka had sent them.

Hux unbuckled his seat belt and grabbed his makeshift crutch when a hand wrapped around his, stopping him.

“You don’t have to do this,” Ben told him, expressive eyes pleading.

Hux averted his gaze, unable to take the look the other was giving him. “Neither do you.” He knew it was too late for them. No peaceful ocean awaited them at the end. 

Arkanis had already burned to the ground.

He put up an arm to keep them apart when Ben attempted to pull him in for a goodbye kiss. He won’t allow himself this final luxury. He didn’t deserve any of it, not with what he had done to the galaxy. Hux forced himself to look at the other, the emotions so apparent on the man’s face now that he was once again Ben. 

“Later, when everything is over. We’ll talk as much as you want then,” he told the other.

He’ll collect his prize at the end, he told himself.

.

Armitage Hux finally acknowledged that despite living a lie for much of his short life, courtesy of Snoke, his abilities were still top notch. His memory of the _Steadfast’s_ floor plans had been perfect, and he had managed to reach his destination without meeting a single soul, even with the constant tap of his crutch. He bolted the door to the spare transmission room by rewiring the access code before setting to do his real work. The screens blared to life in front of him as he connected himself to every star destroyer he could find the line for.

_“You belong to the First Order, and you will lead us to victory. It is your destiny.”_

Well, the First Order was no more. He now belonged to himself. His hand tightened on the mic.

“This is General Hux of the First Order. All star destroyers, hold your fire!”

He felt millions of minds look up in sudden awareness, ready to listen to the one who had programmed them into their “destinies.”

.

“Where is that transmission coming from?” Pryde snarled from the bridge.

“Hugs?” Poe gasped when the TIE fighters broke formation, their pilots likely confused by the sudden message. 

.

Hux took a deep breath.

“We have been deceived by the treacherous Final Order. Even now, they seek to turn the galaxy into nothing but chaos and destruction. You know what our ships are capable of, what power we hold.” He paused, his fingers grasping the microphone so tightly that they were nearly white. “We destroyed an entire star system, sacrificed the flawed Republic in the pursuit of order, and still war festers and tears at us from all sides.” 

He could already hear footsteps in the distance. They were coming.

“The Final Order will lose this battle. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but ultimately we will be nothing but stardust. We have been conditioned from birth of our purpose, of our rightful destiny, but we have been lied to. Only death awaits us at the end.”

Hux could hear pounding at the door and readied the blaster in his hand.

“The Final Order, Palpatine, the past will be the death of us all.” The door creaked as the ones on the other side began firing at the reinforced durasteel. “This is my last order. If you truly believe in what we have been fighting for, then turn away. Turn away from the Final Order, from your inevitable end.” The metal flew open, revealing a small squadron of Stormtroopers, his stolen children. 

“Live.” 

.

The air around him suddenly went cold, and the emptiness filled him as if a vacuum had forcibly sucked out all of his energy, causing Hux to slow to a stop in the middle of the empty hallway, leaning on his crutch for support.

He closed his eyes, knowing exactly what the sensation was.

Ben was gone. He had not even allowed the two of them to say goodbye.

The squadron that entered the room had turned on each other, and Hux had managed to barely escape after taking a few shots to himself and reopening the wound on his thigh. He felt light-headed, unwilling to differentiate where the blood of the stormtroopers stopped and his began on his dark clothes. He only hoped that his message had reached more of those out there.

Hux leaned against the wall as the corridor began to tilt. He could see the other ships through the small viewport next to him fall in a sea of fire. The Final Order had lost.

It was over. The exhaustion seemed to hit him all at once, all those sleepless nights, those days spent under the fierce machine that had designed him. Ben was gone. Nothing awaited him at the end, only death. 

Then someone grabbed him, hoisting his arm over their shoulder, half dragging him through the burning ship. He opened a weary eye, ready to tell the other to leave him here. 

“Mitaka?” he gasped.

“It is not your time to go yet, sir,” the other said.

They made their way through the tilting corridors, passing those who were also frantically trying to escape. It seemed like an eternity before they were back in the unused hangar, where a few familiar faces, including Opan and Unamo, helped Mitaka hoist him onto one of the ships.

Hux began drifting in and out of consciousness as the engines blared to life, and they shot out of the crumbling ruin that was the _Steadfast_. He could feel someone holding pressure over one of his wounds, yelling indiscernible words to him as he attempted to stay awake. He supposed that the damage had likely been extensive despite the protective vest.

He didn’t know why they were trying so hard. They should focus instead on escaping. The Resistance will undoubtedly be merciless against the few survivors.

The turbulence finally smoothed out after what felt like an eternity before he gave up trying to stay awake entirely.

“Wait! Please don’t shoot!” he could hear Mitaka yelling into the intercom. “We need help! He’s dying!”

Hux wanted to tell him to just stop. His life no longer mattered. They should escape.

“Hugs?” he could hear Dameron’s voice over the intercom before darkness took him completely.

.

“Hugs?"

An unfamiliar scene greeted him as he slowly came to. The dirty walls looked like a makeshift medbay, a random collection of supplies surrounding him along with an irritatingly familiar face.

“Dameron,” he rasped weakly. He could feel the fresh bandages around his chest and leg. He supposed that they did not want to waste any precious bacta submersions on him. Or, perhaps, they were just that short supplied. Judging by the state of the room, either could have been a possibility. 

“Why did you save me?” He had given up, he wanted to tell the other. It was okay to stop.

“You saved us, so take it as a thank you,” Poe answered. He pursed his lips before awkwardly continuing. “Well, that and we heard your message. Many of the stormtroopers did actually. They brought down the Star Destroyers already in orbit outside of Exegol before any more planets were destroyed.”

“I see.” Hux breathed out, the air burning his lungs as he exhaled out. He took the chance to take note of more of his surroundings. It really gave the air of a storage room more than a prison cell, which was a plus, even with the second door hidden behind a rather tall pile of metal crates. It was a far cry from his usual minimalistic quarters on the _Finalizer_ for sure, and likely not even half as sterile.

“Just rest for now, buddy. More supplies are on the way, so we’ll get you into a bacta tank soon.”

He nodded slightly in reply, not having enough energy to tell the other not to waste their resources and time on him. He heard the door that wasn’t immediately blocked by crates open and sensed the presence of yet another being entering as Poe left. They felt warm, almost familiar. Hux kept his eyes closed tightly, unwilling to look. 

He knew who it was.

“You are called Hugs, right?” Her soft voice made him look regardless. Her eyes were a near reflection of his own sorrow, yet he knew that they were different. She would recover from this someday. There was still hope for her.

“A-Armitage,” he said, sputtering from the pain before he managed to compose himself. “Just call me Armitage.”

Her eyes lit up slightly, reminding Hux of _him._ “Armitage, I…” She took a deep breath, the words heavy on her lips. He wanted so much to stop her, but he let the wave hit him as it should.

“Ben is gone,” she told him. “He sacrificed himself to save me.”

Hux looked away. He had already expected the blow, but it still hit him with full force. “Why are you telling me this?” he asked after taking a moment to collect himself.

She thought for a few seconds before answering. “I just felt like I should.”

“I see,” he replied. He breathed out slowly. “Thank you for letting me know.”

.

Rey closed the door slowly behind her after Mitaka and Opan went inside, finding Finn and Poe waiting for her in the hallway, their countenances grim.

“We need to get him to another location. He is not safe here,” Finn told them. 

“So word has gotten out already?” Rey asked.

The general nodded. “Some of them saw the others and put two and two together. I don’t think Mitaka and the stormtroopers are in any immediate danger, but Hux is too well known. They’re demanding justice.”

“This isn’t right,” Rey muttered. 

.

Despite not being housed in a prison cell, Hux knew that they were taking turns keeping watch outside. He could feel their presence always, never leaving him alone. He had attempted a few times, unsuccessfully, to reassure them, to convince them to just let him be. The bacta tank will come soon enough, and he will disappear after he is back to full strength.

However, his reasoning always seemed to stop there. Disappear to where? He couldn’t even formulate a plan. Mitaka and the others would undoubtedly choose to go with him, but then they would be unnecessarily hunted by those that wanted his head.

If he were to disappear, then he should go alone.

But where?

He had no place to go.

_“Armitage…”_

He heard some commotion outside and Poe’s presence disappeared, likely to attend to whatever had arrived from the latest shipment. He did hear a plane landing earlier outside, its unruly loud engines having roused him from his sleep.

He sighed, rolling over on the lumpy mattress in an attempt to find a more comfortable position.

It was then that he felt it: soft footsteps from down the hall, pausing briefly to check if there was anyone there. Of course there was no one.

Hux waited in anticipation, his hand closing around the monomolecular blade they had allowed him to keep.

The door opened much too softly.

Hux slowly sat up, his wounds screaming in protest as his mind nearly drowned in the despair that surrounded him. He recognized its sensation all too well as he found himself looking down the barrel of a blaster.

The man’s finger trembled on the trigger.

“M-my brother was on Hosnian Prime.”

They both moved at the same time, but Hux was faster even with his wounds. The beam struck the side of the bed frame as Hux launched himself at the man, throwing them both to the floor. He managed to pin the other down with the monomolecular blade against the man’s throat.

“Don’t waste their trust in you on someone like me,” he breathed, trembling with pain from the maneuver. He moved off of the other after a moment, stumbling back until his back hit the side of the bed. He drew his hand away from his chest to find blood; he must have torn open a number of his wounds as there seemed to be quite a lot coming out.

The man stared at him with wide eyes before finally scrambling to his feet, running out into the hallway and leaving the blaster behind. 

Mission accomplished, Hux supposed as he attempted to quell the bleeding with some pressure.

 _“Armitage…”_

He looked up at the door behind the crates, hand still pressing on the wound on his chest. Ah, now he was hearing things again. Lovely.

_“Armitage…”_

Hux crawled to his knees, grabbing the crutch beside the bed with one hand as he reached out to the door with his other, pain forgotten as blood began to drip onto the floor from the lack of pressure, forming a small pool.

The crates quivered.

.

“Hey Hugs! The bacta tank finally arrived!” Poe declared triumphantly as he barged into the room, stopping in his tracks at the scene. 

“What’s wrong?” Rey asked from behind him before also freezing. There was a small pool of blood at the foot of the bed.

It wasn't until Mitaka moved past the two of them that Poe found his senses again and looked around for Hux, his body growing colder by the second. There were no signs of a huge scuffle, but he recognized the smell of blaster fire, and the abandoned weapon in question on the floor did not help the situation.

“Over here!” Mitaka called over to them and Poe ran over to another blood stain next to the other entrance to the room that they had previously blocked with crates since it wasn’t being used. He had almost not noticed that the boxes had shifted, the dust on them so prominent, it was as if they had been moved without being touched. He swallowed thickly as he pushed the door open, finding it already unlocked.

The bright sun of midday shone on them as they continued to follow the splotches of blood through the grass until they reached the small hill near the compound, fearing the worse with each step up the slope. He couldn’t accept that one of their own would do such a thing. They had been so careful too, and his stupid self had been too excited and left his post.

He glanced to the side at Mitaka, who was following the trail silently. The man seemed resigned, as if none of this surprised him. Poe gritted his teeth and continued on, determined to make this right.

They reached the top of the hill to find it empty, the wind blowing gently over them.

“Hey, Hugs?” Poe called out anyway. Maybe the other was sunbathing somewhere in the grass, he reasoned before nearly tripping over something in the ground. He gulped as he picked up the cane Hux had come with when Mitaka brought him to them, frowning as his eyes trailed to the pile of clothes resting next to it, bloodied bandages peeping out from the empty mound.

There was no Hux.

He saw something glimmer among the clothes, and Mitaka fell to his knees, picking out a metal object on a chain from the pile.

“W-what is that?” Poe stuttered as Mitaka turned the dog tags so that its text faced him.

_ARMITAGE HUX_

.

_“Armitage…”_

_Hux made his way slowly up the hill, the soft breeze accompanying him as each step sent deep aches through his healing leg, even more so the freshly bleeding wound in his chest. He paused halfway, leaning heavily on the cane to take a breath, before turning around to the Resistance compound behind him._

_He could still turn around. There was still some life left in him still._

_“Armitage…”_

_Gritting his teeth, he continued up the mound, blood seeping out from the wound with every step. He had just a little further to go. Just a little..._

_The sensation surged when he reached the top, the sound around him suddenly quieting to nothingness, the gears of the fierce machine halting to a final stop. A solitary figure greeted him, turning as he came closer._

_“Don’t you have a place you have to be?” Armitage asked Ben._

_“I came back for you.” Ben smiled, offering him a hand. “We can talk now. Right, Armitage?”_

_Armitage hesitated before taking it, feeling the strong warmth under his fingertips. He felt lighter than he had ever been._

_“As much as you want.” He smiled._

_Free._

_He was free._

**Author's Note:**

> I walked out of TROS feeling very down. I mean, all that awaited them at the end was death, no matter what they did to redeem themselves. Is it bad that I want _Starkiller_ , who has never experienced any love in his life, to be happy???
> 
> Whew, now that this is out of my system, thank you very much for reading! I hope you enjoyed this mess of a story that my brain decided to suddenly throw out onto actual (digital) paper. *bows*


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